Prison Friendships in Kairos

I've blogged before on my calling to visit men in prison. Currently I serve with about thirty other men who visit our brothers in Christ at Sterling Correctional Facility in Sterling, Colorado, about two hours drive ENE from Denver, out on the plains. We do two "short course in Christianity" weekends there, East Yard in the Spring and West Yard in the Fall. We then visit our brothers there the third Saturday of each month, East in the AM and West in the PM. It's a wonderful ministry. We bring the love and forgiveness of Jesus Christ to these men, with the proviso that we "Listen, listen, love and love". The weekends have food, bought and brought by the volunteers who serve. The format allows for continued support of the church and the chaplains in the prison.

Why the commitment to this population of men? At first, my fellow volunteers and I believed we were doing it for the benefit of the prisoners. However, nearly to a man, we now know that we receive as much grace from the experience as they do. To those of us seasoned by many trips to Sterling, we know that we do nearly nothing there. We have a structured weekend which is provided in a manual we use, featuring 14 short lay talks interspersed with chapel visits, poster contests, songs of praise and lots of laughter and fun. We get to mention during the talks how the theme of the talk has affected us. Other than that, we encourage their interaction at seven round tables at which six inmates and three volunteers sit for three and a half days. And we try to shut up.

This ministry works because each table "family" is visited by the Holy Spirit, tangibly. We know it, they know it. It is a powerful revelation that bolsters their examination of Christianity and their experiment in opening their hearts to God and to each other. There is no requirement that inmates be Christians. Buddhists, Wikkas, Satan Worshipers, and just plain Pagans attend. Many become believers during or after their Kairos, but all walk away from the weekend touched and changed by the experience. Back in the population, they are greeted by former Kairos graduates and inmate church leaders who involve them in Sunday worship services, bible studies and other transformational opportunities. They are informed monthly of our arrival and availability to visit, and they come and renew their friendships with us.

These men are guilty, convicted felons. They are murderers, drug dealers, bank robbers, extortionists, gang bangers, and they are just like you and me: Sinners in search of a loving, forgiving God.

It is a common observation among those who understand men that men's friendships achieve intimacy and depth in proportion to the conflict they go through together. For this reason, deep friendships can form in prison. The context of forming friendships with these men in the presence of God's Holy Spirit creates the deepest, abiding love, between them. We get to watch and encourage and enjoy the wonder of open vulnerable hearts and transformed lives.

I'm proud to say that some of my closest friends are volunteers and inmates in Sterling prison. Why don't you come along with me sometime and enjoy watching as the love of Christ filters through the bars and changes lives?

Holy Friendship

Looking for love in all the wrong places? Many have mixed up love and sex. Why settle for sexual satisfaction and miss an opportunity for love? Many think love is about marriage: that they go together like a horse and carriage, as the song goes. No. That's not it either. Marriage, done correctly, is filled with love. But loveless marriages show that the the horse can break free from the carriage. Some think love is a "feeling". Infatuation is certainly a feeling. Love is something more.

We're confused about love. Where can we find love? How do we show love? Some of the best loving relationships can come from friendship. I'm talking about "holy" friendship, the kind Jesus had for his apostles, and they had, eventually, for him. It is said that among men, friendship is only as deep as the conflict it is subjected to. The apostles went through it all and they had it all: fun, fear, disappointment, doubt, terror and deep love.

Friendship is open to everyone, not just the gregarious. Everyone. Cultivation of deep, meaningful friendships will cure most of our interpersonal problems, cure our obsession with sex, and can bring us closer to God, our father in heaven. From the scripture we are told that God is love and light. In Him there is no darkness at all.

How do you create a friendship of depth and purity? Include God in your relationship. God created us for relationship, with Him. Since the best way to get to him is love, the formula is simple. Show each other the love of God reflected through you. Voila! Deep, meaningful friendship. If you want to know what God's love is, see 1 Corinthians 13, then pursue the kind of friendships you were meant to have, that you were made to have.